The Apology
by vonbee
Summary: Missing scene following the events in Season 4 episodes; 'Deception/Friends and Enemies/The Box/Crisis on Naboo'. Obi-Wan goes to seek forgiveness for faking his death and allowing the woman who loves him to believe him dead...


**The Apology. **

_Obi-Wan Kenobi & Duchess Satine._

_Missing scene following the events in Season 4 episodes; 'Deception/Friends and Enemies/The Box/Crisis on Naboo'._

_Obi-Wan goes to seek forgiveness for faking his death and allowing the woman who loves him to believe him dead. Warning: contains romance, a good helping of angst and the significance of facial hair…_

_I own nothing, characters and universe belong to a certain Mr G Lucas c/o Skywalker Ranch, USA. I'm sure wouldn't mind me playing with his toys. _

* * *

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in the shadows, only the starlight shining through the cabin window providing any definition to his weary form. He heard the sound of voices in the adjacent room and felt his heartbeat quicken.

A door slid open and light flooded the chamber, but the new occupant failed to see him as she turned towards the dresser. Obi Wan found himself torn between announcing himself to the oblivious woman, and appreciating the rare moment of watching her unobserved.

He looked on with fascination as Duchess Satine Kryze reached behind her head to remove the fastenings that held the intricate head piece than framed her beautiful face. Once free she carefully lowered it and placed it on a prepared stand. The simple motion of her blonde hair falling loose and free was quite lovely. Becoming uncomfortable with his unintended voyeurism he fought the sudden dryness in his throat, but before he could speak Satine surprised him.

"So it is true," she said, her tone of voice ever so formal, her back still towards him. She had obviously known he was waiting for her. Then Satine turned and he saw a play of emotions on her face. "I hadn't truly allowed myself to believe…"

She closed the distance between them with just a few steps. Feelings of grief over come with relief and oh such a feeling of love revitalised, Duchess Satine had rarely felt so powerless at the strength of her emotions. As soon as she'd been told that he was on board her flagship _The Coronet_, it had been all she could do the restrain herself from abandoning her meeting and running straight to him.

As she finally stood before him she hesitated, this wasn't the bold Jedi Knight she'd last seen on Coruscant. Her eyes took in his changed appearance; the close cropped hair, the conspicuous lack of beard and the exhaustion in his eyes. She raised her hand to tenderly touch his face.

"What have they done to you?"

Obi-Wan's current appearance was still a surprise to himself. Gone were his hair and his beard, shaved off for his undercover mission as Rako Hardeen. The few days' worth of hair that had grown since his debriefing was an auburn fuzz, and on impulse he had decided to keep shaving. He felt self-conscious at her intimate study of him and the undeniably sensuous sensation of her gentle hand stroking his clean shaven face.

"Superficial only I assure you."

Satine didn't believe that for a moment.

The tightly wound cord of emotions finally snapped and suddenly her lips were on his, expressing what they couldn't form in words. He didn't resist, this is what he needed; this woman, her taste, her arms around him. Regretfully the kiss ended and she pulled back slightly, reluctant to leave his arms but needing to regain some self control, her forehead resting against his.

"That was worth dying for." said Obi-wan quietly, breaking the silence.

"You provoke the strongest reactions in me," Satine replied softly. With effort she rallied her emotions and stepped back, once again composed. "Be glad that my relief is greater than my anger, there is a limit to even my tolerance."

"Then I am forever grateful for your gentle nature," replied Obi-Wan with a slight bow of his head.

They shared a smile, acknowledging the return to the reassuring formality of their usual banter, but both knowing that something undeniable had been reawakened between them.

"You're quite the hero from what I've been hearing," said Satine. She had seen the HoloNet news reports of the attempted assassination of Chancellor Palpatine and the revelation that the Jedi Council had sent Obi-wan Kenobi undercover after faking his murder. It was the type of self perpetuating story that generated so much interest that it was still leading the news feeds nearly a week later.

"Though you know how unreliable and erroneous these reports can be, after all it was only a few weeks ago I was led to believe that you were dead."

Obi-Wan winced, that was why he was here. He remembered the conversation with Anakin that had brought him here.

"_She wept for you."_ Anakin had said simply during a quiet moment they had had together after the events on Naboo. Confused Obi-Wan had stared at him, his face a question.

"_Duchess Satine."_

He hadn't known how to reply to that.

"_She came to your funeral,"_ Anakin's voice betraying his contempt for that charade. _"Her grief was so raw; it was like a flame burning bright in the Force."_

_Satine._ So focused on the mission at hand Obi-Wan had not even spared a moment's thought to consider the impact of the news of his 'death' reaching her on Mandalore. But of course distance was never an obstacle to bad news. The need to see her in person, to make some amends for any pain he caused her had been his first course of action on being granted furlough by the Jedi Council.

"I truly regret any pain I caused you," Obi-Wan said with sincerity.

Satine paused, and then gave the only answer she could give. "I forgive you Obi-Wan." She saw the almost imperceptible ease of tension from his posture, and it made her hesitate before adding, "Though I am disturbed that the Jedi Council saw fit to create such a deception in the first place."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath; he didn't want to admit that he too felt that the plot was something that would have never been devised before the war. "It was seen as the most effective way to act on the vital information we had received. We've had so few opportunities to take the upper hand during this war. Had it failed the consequences for the Republic would have been devastating."

It pained her to see his discomfort and she regretted her challenging tone. This was not a stateroom, he was not her subject, and he didn't need to justify the decisions of the Jedi Council to her. What he did need she realised was a friend, she didn't need the Force to be able to sense that he was troubled by something.

"_The Coronet _will be arriving at Mandalore in the morning, my schedule is clear for the rest of the evening. Master Kenobi will you join me for supper and tell me the tale of the Republic's hero of the hour?"

He smiled, "It would be my pleasure Duchess, though I fear it may not be as exciting as you may have been led to believe…"

* * *

It was after they had eaten and retired to the comfortable lounge that Satine had a moment of was the first time she realised, as she sat beside him that she and Obi-Wan had had any time together, alone, without an immediate threat to her life binding them together. She wondered if he realised it also.

She had listened with fascination as Obi-Wan recounted his adventure of subterfuge and deception as bounty hunter Rako Hardeen – the very man who was supposed to have assassinated him. She was quite aware that she was getting the abridged, understated version, his modesty preventing him from admitting his true between the lines though, she could see that Obi-Wan had had to hide his true self and masquerade as someone who was the absolute antithesis of him. How alone he must have felt, what had that cost him she wondered.

She was surprised when he told her that like her, his former Padawan Anakin Skywalker had also been led to believe Obi-Wan was dead, for a while at least. Obi-Wan seemed to be conflicted, he'd done his duty as a Jedi but he was concerned that he may have irrevocably damaged his relationship with Anakin.

It had been his decision to exclude Anakin from knowing the truth. Outwardly it had been to add credibility to his apparent 'death', but to himself he admitted, it had been an occasion to test Anakin's ability to put aside emotional ties. He had passed a similar test before when he had had to give up his attachment to Padmé. Though the paths of the young Jedi and senator crossed with remarkable regularity they seemed to be able to have a professional relationship.

With Satine he found he could voice concerns that he wasn't comfortable with reporting back to the Jedi Council. When Anakin had tracked him and Cad Bane down on Nal Hutta, the ease with which he had overcome him in the fight that followed, even without his lightsaber still troubled him greatly.

"I fear I will always have the upper hand until he can control his emotions, if I can see that weakness in him then others can exploit it also" he said sombrely.

Satine had only met Skywalker fleetingly; the younger man had impressed her as a skilful Jedi and seemed a credit to his former master. But surely Obi-Wan had been naïve to expect the younger man not to be aggrieved at the situation he was placed in.

"I would have thought that you of all people could have empathised with his situation, of loosing his master to a cruel assassin" she said pointedly, meeting his eyes.

Qui-Gon Jinn. How that man bound them both together.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, recalling all too clearly how he had watched helpless as his own master had been mortally wounded by the Sith Lord Darth Maul. He remembered the burning rage and grief that had coursed through him and how it had only been by putting them aside he had been able to gather the clarity of the Force to strike Maul down.

His Jedi training; all that Qui-Gon had instilled in him, to put aside all fears and doubts, to focus on the on the here and he been wrong to expect the same from Anakin? Though he admitted ruefully to himself, if Anakin had found his focus then he most certainly would not have survived their confrontation.

Qui-Gon's death had been a dramatic turning point in his life. In an all too brief moment of time Obi-Wan had gone from apprentice, to Jedi Knight, to having his own Padawan. Not just any Padawan, the _Chosen One_ no less, and a promise to his dying mentor to train him. He had honoured Qui-Gon's memory in teaching of Anakin the ways of the Force, and through that training he had learned to appreciate his lost master all the more. He knew that he had done his best but there was always that nagging doubt that Qui-Gon would have done a better job of training Anakin than he.

"I miss him," said Obi-Wan simply. Looking into Satine's eyes he found comfort in the thought of the shared memories they had Qui-Gon.

"He was a good man." Satine placed a consoling hand over his; she had mourned his passing also. To say that she owed her life and position to the dedication of Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his young Padawan all those years ago was no exaggeration, she Jedi Master had been assigned to aid the young Duchess during the civil war on Mandalore, the threat to her life being so great. Satine hadn't wanted to leave Mandalore, to have gone into exile would have weakened her position too much. Her presence on her world, though constantly on the run had given her supporters a focus, a purpose.

When the Jedi had agreed to protect her, no one could have anticipated that it would be a year of running and hiding, bounty hunters seemingly always on their trail. Qui-Gon Jinn had been such a stabilising element during that turbulent time, his calm strength and quiet wisdom still had a great influence on young apprentice though, had had a much different enduring impression on her life.

That apprentice who was now the master sat beside her, looking oddly out of place amongst the luxurious fabric and his changed appearance gave the illusion of youthfulness, there was no mistaking the lifetime of experience that showed in his eyes. But she could still see the young man with the Padawan braid who had claimed her heart.

"I often think of that year with the three of us. I'm rather embarrassed to admit that it was probably the most exciting time of my life," she confessed.

Obi-Wan saw the slight blush that spread across her cheeks and replied, "It was certainly memorable."

He remembered a year of running, hiding and fighting when the need arose, which had been all too frequent. They had travelled together or more often as a far less conspicuous pairing with either himself or Qui-Gon staying with the Duchess and the other scouting ahead. Obi-Wan had found himself looking forward more and more to those times he and Satine travelled together alone.

He couldn't recall who had suggested he and Satine pose as young newly wed couple on one such occasion. But he vividly recalled their first kiss. How Satine had surprised him by adopting her new persona with more enthusiasm than he'd anticipated. Had it been the constant danger and threat of discovery and certain death that had brought them together, he wondered.

Obi-Wan chuckled. "Anakin called it romantic."

Satine laughed. "That young man is far wiser than you give him credit for."

"What he sometimes lacks in subtlety he makes up for in perceptiveness," he replied.

"Remind you of someone?"

He nodded, smiling sadly, he knew what she was referring to. That long awaited moment when a message was received that meant Satine could return and take her seat. The moment they both realised they would have to face the harsh reality of their growing relationship. How Qui-Gon had left them alone under the pretence of getting confirmation and arranging transport back to the capitol. Instructing them to stay hidden until he returned in the morning had been his rather obvious hint for them to make good use of the time he was giving them.

Master Qui-Gon had not been ignorant of the attachment that had developed between his young Padawan and the Duchess in waiting. But the older man had not lectured him on his duty to the Jedi. Instead he had gently counselled Obi-Wan on the need to be true to himself. He was at a turning point, he'd told him; only his heart and the Force could guide him, and how if he listened to both he would realise that they were one and the same…

Satine regretted that she had been unable to express her gratitude to Qui-Gon for giving them that last night together. That night they had finally voiced their fears and dreams. Both aware of the implications of the decision they had to make and how they reluctantly realised that it had already made, they just had to face it.

She couldn't ask him to give up the Jedi Order. Being a Jedi was not just his dream or ambition, simply what he was meant to be. Through Qui-Gon Satine had glimpsed the man Obi-Wan would become, and being a Jedi was always going to be a part of that. In the end it had been duty that separated them. That had been little comfort to her broken heart, and the pain she had felt watching him leave.

Obi-Wan considered the woman in front of him, the passing years had been more than kind to her. Her face seemed more defined, regal and he admired the way she held herself with confidence and dignity. Duchess Satine; Ruler of Mandalore and voice of fifteen hundred systems as leader of the Council of Neutral Systems, was undoubtedly breathtaking.

He remembered the last time he'd been on this ship, again assigned as her protector. The heart stopping moment when he thought he's failed as she was held at the barrel of a blaster, her death or the destruction of the ship seeming certain. Satine's desperate admission that she had loved him since the first time they had metand the urgent plea in her eyes that he finally be honest in his reply._ 'If you had given the word I would have left the Jedi Order…'_

To admit that he too had loved her from the first would have been a lie. He'd seen her beauty yes, but he'd been taught to see past physical attraction. But the more time they had spent together the more difficult it had been to deny the undeniable attraction he had felt for the woman beside him.

The attraction he still felt. He glanced down and he realised his hand now held hers, the skin so smooth and warm beneath his fingers. Why had he come here? He could offer her reasons that had separated them all those years ago still held true, and more so. He feared that his presence here may have given Satine false hope.

He stood and walked to the cabin window, needing to distance himself for moment, her presence suddenly overwhelming. He took a moment to look out into the stars then turned to face her. "Satine, I…" he began, and then paused feeling impossibly awkward.

"Can it be that the great negotiator is lost for words?" Satine replied teasingly. She knew what he was struggling to say, that painful inevitable conversation that must be had. But he was here, and for this moment he was hers, and she wouldn't let what couldn't be spoil it.

Obi-Wan saw the mischief in her eyes. "For once, I fear, I am facing a situation for which I can see no resolution that would satisfy all parties involved" he replied in his most proper tone.

Satine stood, drawing herself up to her full height she adopted her most officious manner usually reserved for dealing her unruly council. "Then may I suggest that we postpone any further discussion until a more appropriate time, and perhaps resume negotiations upon the cessation of hostilities between the Separatists and the Republic."

They held their serious expressions for a moment then both began to laugh. Satine moved closer to join him by the window, raising her hand to gently cup his face. "A very wise Jedi once told me of the importance of placing yourself in the here and now" she said softly.

Obi-Wan remembered another of his former master's maxims – _trust your instincts_. He drew her to him. "Far wiser than I can ever hope to be."

He held her tight, breathing in the scent of her hair, surrendering himself to the moment. The war, the Jedi Council and Anakin would all still be there in the morning. He cleared his mind of all thoughts and gave himself over to the here and now.

_Here_ was with Satine, in his embrace. N_ow_ was gentle pressure of her lips on his…

* * *

Attaching his lightsaber to his belt and adjusting his tunic, Obi-Wan stood in front of the mirror and allowedhimself a moment of vanity. The robes he wore were reassuringly familiar but the face his saw was nearly that of a stranger. He ran a hand over what was attempting to be his hair and frowned as he took in the shadow on his face. Felt the coarse stubble and mentally cursed the impracticality of having to shave. It was so much easier keeping a beard trim. In the reflection he saw Satine appear from her bedroom. Wearing a simple blue satin robe she was a vision.

She paused, her head tilting as she surveyed him, her expression thoughtful. "You know I think I've changed my mind. Your boyish good looks are not really befitting of great Jedi master. _Master_ _Kenobi_ I think definitely suits a beard. It gives you a greater air of authority…" she made a show of struggling for the right word, "gravitas you could say."

"Gravitas?" he repeated, smiling broadly.

"Yes. Besides it brings out your beautiful eyes."

"Then for you and any hope of my ever being taken seriously again by the Jedi Council, I shall grow it back."

They stood apart, both conscious that the distance between a necessary shield. The moment of parting had arrived and neither wanted to make it anymore more painful.

"Be safe Obi-Wan," Satine said with meaning, all humor gone. "It would be a shame should the war end and you weren't there to witness it."

"I will try," he replied with sincerity. He felt he didn't need to remind her of the more insidious dangers she faced. Hers was a different, though no less perilous, battlefield.

With nothing more that could be said, he gave a slight bow "Duchess." She nodded in return and watched as he turned and left without looking back.

A short while later Satine stood by the window, her gown pulled tight around her as Mandalore began to come into view. Her eyes were drawn to the small departing ship setting course in the opposite direction. With a heavy heart she watched as it became just a disappearing speck of light in the distance.

**The End.**


End file.
